How to Effectively Argue Politics With Ignorant Assholes

Three Tips to Spread Your Righteousness to the Idiotic Other

You can lead a horse to water, as the saying goes, but you can’t make him drink. 

That’s simply not true. Quitters say that. Losers. Wimps. Don’t just lead the damn horse, command it, overtake it, tie its head under water until it bends its stupid will to yours. 

If it still won’t drink, that’s a choice, choices have consequences, equinicide. 

When you’re talking politics, it’s no different. Stupid people don’t know they’re stupid, and in fact most stupid people are so confident in the things they’re wrong about that there’s almost no hope of changing their minds.

Almost.

There is hope, thanks to me, because I’ve studied these folks, and I’ve come up with three tools to use against their illusory superiority, to penetrate their self-awareness void and imprint on them the facts that will make them vote exactly how you vote, every time.

1. Don’t Listen

You don’t build an immunity to UV rays by staring at the sun, so why would you listen when stupid people talk about politics. Don’t subject yourself to their ignorance. It might bleed off. Ignorance is like the flu; there’s no such thing as herd immunity. If you’re herding with sheep, you’re a sheep.

Instead, be unmoving in your beliefs. Do not question your superiority. In the face of counter-evidence, close your mind. When confronted with what appears to be rational thought, remember who you’re dealing with. The other side is full of tricksters and frauds, and some of them are very good. Stupid — but good. 

Regular confidence is not enough. You must be righteousness when you speak, unyielding, and ferocious. Do not let up. The intellectually inferior cannot be led to the light, they must be forced. 

2. Insults Work

This seems counter-intuitive, and I’ve heard people say things like, “You wouldn’t call a child stupid for not understanding how a bill becomes a law.” Bullshit. 

First of all, I’ve debated plenty of kids, and they’re not as dumb as they look. “Little bastard” and “brace-face” are perfectly effective at getting through to political foes of any age.

Secondly, most people find politics so boring that you won’t even get their attention without calling them names: idiot, fool, clown — any of these work. 

Thirdly, people who don’t insult you back are suspect, and all the more deserving of your belittling mockery. Don’t let that cool/calm/respectful act trick you into thinking they are smart or nice. If they disagree with you politically, they’re wrong, they’re dumb, they’re mean.

3. Talk Trash Behind Their Back

You don’t need to listen to people in order to know where they stand. If you’re smart — and you are — then you already know where they stand. Screaming insults at people’s faces is effective, but the one-two punch of face-screaming and back-biting pretty much guarantees a knockout.

Belittle them from afar, on your blog, then email it to a friend of a cousin of the co-worker of the person you’re talking about.

Smart people are off-putting to dumb people. Going behind people’s backs will eventually get around to them, and if it comes from someone other than you it can really advance the cause. Ideally it will reach them from a fellow stupid person, because stupids stick together, they listen to one another. 

No Promises

I can’t make any promises that this will actually work. Some people are beyond help. 

I can say that this is how most people are communicating with politically ignorant fools these days, so by the sheer number of blogs I’ve been emailed I can assure you that these three tricks to eliminating political idiocy is the new and approved mainstream method.

Good luck. 

One thought on “How to Effectively Argue Politics With Ignorant Assholes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s